anatomy

Evan recently invented the statistic (based on privately, and unscientifically, collected data) that men are infinitely more likely to receive oral sex over the course of their lifetime than actually have sexual intercourse. See, he even has math.

Any Number >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Zero

Therefore, we can conclude something about female anatomitomicals.

Vaginas = Selfish.

Mouths = Slutty...or at least insecure enough to put out.

This has disturbing implications for men everywhere. We all know that slutty = diseased, and selfish = miserable. If you are receiving oral sex, it's likely that you're dongly has become diseased.

This is bad.

Also, if you're having sexual intercourse, you're in some sort of social relationship with something selfish, and therefore miserable. Therefore, you are miserable.

Sex = Misery.

Ouch. Howdya like them apples?

Best to turn gay now, before you become more diseased and/or miserable. Manbutt = hairy, and teddy bears are hairy.

Manbutt = cuddly.