yo tengo depressing, lately.

First off, sorry for the extremely depressing last post. My Christmas hasn't really been ideal.

First off, I think I've basically severed myself from High School, to the extent that I want to. This might initially seem a good thing, but it is a little sad: and end of an era, if you will.

Well, with the exception of one person. I have little or no energy for that particular situation, though, and they don't either, so I get a break from it.

Just for reference, it's better to be careful when speaking to those you care about, and not driving both of you to the point, when arguing, where you begin to forget what you're talking about. It's been too long, and I've made too many selfish attempts at happiness: I'd say I wish I had ended my...crusade...earlier, but I don't, I just miss not being able to talk with my friend...I think they're my friend. I wish we are, if that makes sense.

So, there's the exhausting psychological weakness, the realization of a new era, and then there's the impossible situation of being a relatively plain, reserved person trying to convince himself he's not interested in serious relationships at the moment.

Oh right, and my Grandma died last night, ruining the Christmas of at least two daughters and my Grandfather, and preventing my mother from spending Christmas with us.

This is rapidly turning into a rant, and while there's plenty of things to rant about, there's noone to rant to.

So, I apologize for having nothing much cheery to say.

I got a rave CD from Ben (rave meaning really good; Muse for those who can appreciate that) and am going to get an external hard drive so that I can expand on my already ridiculously expansive musical library without having to sacrifice necessary software (I almost caught myself deleting Microsoft Word and my one remaining media player to find room for some Rufus Wainwright, and I haven't gotten 2/3s of the way through my CDs, and not even half way through the various libraries on the dorm network).

So...I guess I'm cleared for a good break, now that everything shitty has happened or been decided.

But that said, I hope you guys had good Christmases. My actual Christmas was very fun, even though the circumstances surrounding it kinda sucked.