i_am_so_sick_of_fee_ling_like_shit_be_cause_of_o_ther_pe_ople.

In middle and high school it was so easy. You could blame parents for being parents, teachers for being teachers, or yourself for not knowing any better or being just plain stupid. Now, in the real world, when people are supposed to be adults; to be mature, everything just seems more and more clear, and less and less sure.

Before: Why do I feel bad?
Now: Person A is doing X. X makes me feel bad. Y is happening. Y is bad.

Before: Magic makes me feel good. Flirting makes me feel good. Playing in SAP makes me feel good.
Now: WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO ABOUT PERSON A SO I CAN STOP FEELING LIKE I'M GOING TO THROW UP. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO ABOUT Y SO MY HEART RATE GOES DOWN.

It's a complete about face from childhood, and it's craz-ifying my life. I mean, absolutely. I'm seriously contemplating doing the worst thing I've ever done because I am so out of my mind with stress. What drives a person to that?

Well, I know. I'm maturing, so I know. I'm not mature, yet, obviously, because I have no idea what to do about it.