Went to a poetry slam tonight. This cool old guy won...he was kind of out of it, though, like hard to understand.

I need to start posting when I'm not so frickin' tired.

Ben was a bit of an ass at Fountain today. I dunno what was eating him. I can still get along with him but when people are rude it frustrates me. Not like "oh, he didn't wave to me when I passed him on Clairemont today" but like "you're ugly. you're stupid. No, stop talking." I can't stand that.

Lauren, if you're interested, I have The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most and their new one. Just in case you want them before you leave.

I feel kinda bad I didn't invite my sister along to the poetry slam. I don't really consider her part of my group of friends, but I think she felt left out.

Joe needs to not kill himself. Seriously, I reeeeally hope all this stuff is just talk. He seems like the kind of person who gets desensitized to things to a great degree. I doubt slapping him and really shouting at him would have the desired effect. I really worry about him. I know from my own experience that you can hardly take things that people say about their parents at face value, and I think that he dislikes them so much that he makes them hate him so it's easier. If you're reading this, Joe, I need you to talk to me. Suicide is not an option for you. Don't be so stupid to think that it's a way out and you're just another depressed teenager with mental health issues. You're my friend. I don't care if you don't think you'll go to hell or limbo or heaven or wherever. If you die, it's a hell for everyone else who cares about you. That might sound selfish, but it's true. Suicide is the most pitiful thing I can think of. It's not noble, it's sadistic and escapist. i'm here for you, I can help you get away but I will not let you get tips on it and drive pens into your arm. You are loved more by more people than you know.

Hey Linnea, you were right. What a prick I was at German Camp. You were right about everything.

Hey Eve, I'm sorry for the way I treated you after German Camp. I didn't feel bad about it, and I hope you didn't, but I felt like I had abused our trust and taken advantage of you. I really regret what we did, and I hope you'll let it slide.

What a sob session this is turning out to be...Well, might as well make the confession complete...

All the girls I knew when I was little and curious about "down there": Please don't hold it against me. I may be a horny teenager now but I respect other people and their boundaries. I was always a little embarassed about the way I acted when I was little, in most respects, so let me prove to you that I'm different. 'Cause I am, even if you can't tell.

Hey people who know me...send me your Blog URLs! I wanna know what you're feeling about stuff. Really, I do. I get really lonely out here in the boonies and never get to talk to anyone.

I really miss German Camp. Or more, the friends I have at German Camp. 'Thing is, I don't think I'd make as tight connections as I did Sophomore summer; that summer really can't be beat. Ever.

...At least not unless a certain someone really starts to show some mutual interest...

...but that probably won't happen.

A guy can dream, though, huh?